This is a story about being tired out and poop. After a long day at work, I am pooped. 

When I arrive at home, my kids say, “Hi, Mommy! Can I have a snack? Are we going to the gym?”. They are excited to go to the gym because there is a kid zone, not because they want to do squats or lift weights. At this point, I realize I need to tap into their enthusiasm, immediately, before I progress into lazy mode. 

We head to the gym. I sign the kids into their kid zone. Now, this zone does not change diapers. My son is notorious for timing his poop o’ the day about 10 minutes into my workout. Today I have an especially awesome situation; I came home and there were no diapers left. My son was wearing the last diaper. 

So, like any champion Mom I grabbed a swim diaper I happened to find while rummaging around in my desperate diaper search, and clung to the hope my son could make it through this gym visit without needing a diaper change. As you tenured Mom’s know, swim diapers don’t do shit, except keep floaters out of pools. 

I am on an elliptical machine for 8 minutes, just at that point where I am getting into working out. Then, I see her. The kid zone teacher is on the prowl looking around the floor for a Mom. I hope it’s not me, but I know it’s going to be me. The walk of shame to go change a poopy diaper. 

At least this time the teacher didn’t bring my 5 year old daughter out with her; my daughter who loves to loudly announce, “Spence pooped!” for all the surrounding gym-goers to hear.
I change my son in the gross little Koala area. My daughter likes to hang out in the bathroom with us, as an added bonus. I put him in the swim diaper and I know this is the end of my workout. Unless I want to somehow sneak back out to the gym, only to be found again when he wets his pants since it’s just a swim diaper he is in which will not absorb anything. I opt not to gamble. I’m mentally checked out of my workout at this point, anyway. 

All that effort, and I worked out a total of 8 minutes. I guess that’s better than zero minutes.