A to Z

 
Sounds serious, right? It is. If I were a stuffed animal, Doc McStuffins would diagnose me with this ailment–Meticulousitis. 

I am meticulous to a fault. It would be nice to find the cure for this, but, it’d be a tough one to undo. It would undo me. It is in my DNA. 

Being meticulous is useful, but it’s also detrimental, at times, because it always makes me feel like I am rushed. And, in this day and age, where the pace is always a sprint, it creates anxiety. Meticulousitis, is a constant struggle. 

It’s not all bad. It serves me well when I am editing, writing, managing a project, cleaning, or organizing. But, when I am packing for a vacation, or, simply trying to get out of the house, and pack a diaper bag; it’s a hindrance. It. Takes. Forever. 

Prior to being a wife and Mommy, my Meticulousitis wasn’t so bad, because I was only responsible for myself. It was much easier to manage my time for a party of one. But, now, with our party of 4, I struggle to get out of the house on time and manage my time. 

So, while there are some days I wish there was a cure for my Meticulousitis, I’ve learned to live with it, mostly by allowing an hour of extra time to get out of the house. 

I need this time for my Meticulousitis, and any inevitable kid-tastrophies; like a kid pooping his diaper as we are leaving, a tantrum over wearing socks, or over wearing a coat. Whatever the issue may be, I’ve tried my hardest to leave extra time so that we aren’t grotesquely late.  

But, be kind if we are late, we have good intentions, I have good intentions and I try my best not to let my Meticulousitis consume me.

These are some of the lessons I have learned from being a Mommy of kids; ages 0-5. The lessons are in no particular order, because there is no order. There is never order. But, I did save the best lesson for last. 

You can eat popsicles in the morning. Goldfish are an acceptable breakfast. You will try, try, and try to get your kids to eat healthy food; something other than chicken nuggets and ketchup. You will eat kid left overs for your dinner. You will hide, while eating your kids’ Halloween candy. 

Poop can be smeared everywhere in a matter of seconds. You will cut a onesie off of your kid, at least once, from an unmanageable diaper blowout. You will throw soiled outfits away. Your couch and carpet will get peed on. You will get peed on, maybe even pooped on. Poop will become a commonly used and word, in your vocabulary. 

You will answer all sorts of questions, do puzzles, read books and color, all before 8am. You will spell out words, over and over again. You will watch kid TV shows. You will fight over the TV and iPhone. You will hate Calliou. You will need to be goofy and dance and sing silly songs. You will play on the playground. You will play games. You will rarely sit down. You will make time for snuggles. You will be kicked, have boogers and food rubbed on you. You will have food and small toys thrown at you. You will step on a Lego and experience the most excruciating pain known to your bare foot. You will likely get your nose smashed by a flailing arm, head, or, leg. You will barely survive long car rides. 

You will love diapers and you will hate them. You will become a wrangler of kids. A wrestler, to change diapers. You will likely wash a diaper in the washing machine. You will learn to be ambidextrous with whatever arm doesn’t have a kid in tow.  

Your kids will run around naked and refuse to get dressed. Your kids will stalk you in the bathroom, maybe even sit on your lap while you’re on the toilet. 

You will fight with them about wearing socks, about wearing a coat. You never have as much time as you think you do to get everyone ready to leave the house. 

There will be tears. There will be tantrums. You’ll miss the quiet. But, when your kids are quiet, it is never good. You will pack your entire home to go on vacation. You will go on vacation and come back more tired. 

You will be permanently tired. You will wake up, even when your kids are sleeping, wondering if they are ok, and check on them. When they are sick, you will try everything in your parental artillery, to get them to sleep better. You’ll end up sleeping with them on your chest in a chair when they are congested and coughing. You will rock them until they fall asleep. You will try to sleep on the floor of their room, to keep them from coming in your room. You will do whatever it takes for them to sleep, and for you to maybe sleep. 

And, here is the ringer. You will look at your kids and feel a profound love for them. The love you have for your kids, is a love like no other. A love that shines on, with a brightness that keeps you going. The greatest lesson your kids will teach you, is a lesson of unconditional love. A love that will endure all things.