I teach my kids not to say they, “hate” something. I try not to say hate. It is a short list of things I hate. I really hate grocery shopping. I hate it. I will say hate over, and over again, to grocery shopping.
So, thankfully, right now, my kids are too young to read about their hypocrite Mommy ranting about my hatred for grocery shopping. Someday, they too, will likely hate it.
It’s a time sucker.
The lines, the oblivious roaming people with their shopping carts, the monotony of going aisle by aisle, losing my focus because I have 2 squawking kids in the ridiculous kid-car cart, forgetting to buy what we really need.
Or, how about always, somehow, selecting the line that is the shortest, but, that one person in front of you is taking forever checking coupons or deals, or whatever the F people do that have all the time in the world to complain and nitpick at checkout.
Those customers that linger or can’t operate the credit card machine, and make the heat rise into my cheeks because my kids, at this point, are buck wild and I am completely mentally checked out because of how long it is taking to check out.
And then, the aisles I really avoid; technology at its finest: Self check out. Just. Forget. It. One time my poor husband tried to self check out a huge bag of dog food, and the entire enormous bag busted, mid-scan. Those tiny multi-colored dog food pellets were everywhere. That was our last time at self check out.
Every time I think self check out will be easier. It isn’t. For example, I have one item–bananas. “Please move your, B-A-N-A-N-A-S, to the belt.” I move the bananas to the belt and the belt and robot woman apologize and request I re-enter the item. I repeat this 6 times before I abandon my bananas on the belt and say, forget it.
Now, having complained for the majority of this blog about my hatred of grocery shopping, there are some stores I don’t mind as much because they are designed uniquely, have unique products, or, they intermingle entertainment with the shopping. Stew Leonard’s, Trader Joes and Fairway, these are “ok”.
I especially love Stew Leonard’s because not only is it entertaining for the kids, it’s always rewarding. I always buy enough groceries to get the free reusable bag and free ice cream. And, their soft serve is absolutely, delicious. It is delicious enough to make me have amnesia about my hating shopping.
Ok, now back to my hatred. Lately, people cut in front of me, in line, like I don’t exist. There was a day when I would’ve let it slide because I tend to be a quiet, overly nice person. But, with 2 writhing kids in the cart, like ticking time bombs, I have grown a pair and I speak up. I get a glare, like I am the A-hole. But, whatever, I have young kids and those people are not entitled to cut me, simply because they have less items. Pick another line, a-hole.
I would love the idea of a grocery shopping FastPass, like Disney World. To the grocery store that would design that, you would be top notch.
In closing, I have grown smarter in my old age. I use Peapod to get the majority of groceries delivered. It is incredibly convenient to get our set, bulk, items.
But, there are some things I just have to go to the store to get; meat, veggies, fruit. For my sanity, whatever is left of it, I try to either go without my kids, or, I make the 20 minute trek to Stew Leonard’s. It’s worth it, if not for the produce, definitely worth it for the soft serve. I hate grocery shopping, but who doesn’t love soft serve? I win.