Or, lack there of. I miss sleep. Tenured Moms warn you about “getting as much sleep as possible before the baby comes”. But, despite these warnings, you don’t have a clue until you’re living it. We all could use more sleep in this household. Evie has night terrors and Spence has teeth coming in. If it’s not those things, it’s something else. Whatever it may be, there is not a lot of sleep going on here.

It usually plays out like this. After a long day, when I look forward to sleep like I look forward to going on a tropical get-a-way, I lay down and snuggle into bed, and just as I am drifting off into sleep I hear “the noise”. You know that noise the one that you try not to hear but it pierces right to your core. Then, it stops and I am so incredibly thankful.I start to fall back asleep. There it is, “the noise” the crying that escalates, gets louder and louder. I have to get up, to check out the scene. It’s the usual. I’m thankful it’s nothing serious. But, I would like to get back to sleep.

If it’s Evie who is crying, she is talking in her sleep. You can talk to her, but it’s nonsense. I try to talk to her, calm her down but her wailing is incoherent since she’s not really awake, like, “Mommy I need my back tickled”, “there’s a spider in my bed” (that one I really don’t like because then I search like a crazy person for the spider). My main goals are to make sure she is OK, and then to make sure she doesn’t get loud enough to wake her brother. Because, when that happens I come undone.

If it’s her brother that is crying, lately I’ve resorted to crawling into the crib with him; sleep deprivation is sleep desperation. My crib tactics actually work, after awhile, he falls back asleep and I try to quietly climb out of the crib to sneak back to bed. Then, what feels like an hour after I finally fall asleep, my alarm goes off and it’s time to get ready to go to work. Do I feel refreshed and ready to tackle the day? Definitely not. But, I remind myself I’m blessed with healthy kids. And, at least there is coffee.